Posts Tagged ‘hotel’

Caller: I need a cab     Me: Where are you? Caller: I don’t know  Me: What town are you in? Caller: I don’t know Me: Well I can see by the caller ID that you’re in ______________( town withheld) , so do you have an address? Caller: wait one minute…..(talking to some one else in room) hey! hey!, what is your address here?  Oh  okay. (talking to me) the address is _________. How long till you come? Me: about 15-20 minutes. Caller: ok I’ll be outside.

I arrive at the address and this 20 something guy, gets in the cab. He is covered in blood and dirt and vomit. His hair is all over the place and his nose still has leftover blood dried on it. He says “I have 35 dollars how far will that get me?”   I said “where are you TRYING to go?” He gave me a town about 70 miles away from where we were. “I ain’t gonna get you THERE. ” I said. “It’ll get you about to the shopping mall.” I had to ask what the hell happened to him. He told me he had gone to Sauget with his buddies for a night out. He was drunk and his buddies wanted to go home, he didn’t. The last thing he remembered was being at the gas station in Sauget and fighting with his buddies about not wanting to go home yet. He told his buddies “F#ck you!” and  got into a car with some black dudes, who told him they would take him to a party. He said the next thing he knew , he woke up in the backseat of a car in _______( a town 30 miles from Sauget, where I picked him up).  He went to the house the car was parked in front of, to ask to use the phone and this kid, some 12-year-old ,answered the door. He asked her could he use her phone. She asked him why he was so dirty. He told her that he woke up in the back seat of that car our there…to which she exclaimed “that’s my DAD’S car!” The kid told him her parents had just left to go shopping, but that he could come in and use the phone if he wanted. That was when he called information and got our taxi number. He said the kid told him her address and now he was sweatin’ it because he was gonna have to call his wife and have her to meet him at the shopping mall. I told him that he better not go INSIDE the mall looking like that, or you’re gonna have security on you. He looked down at his clothes , he hadn’t realized he was covered in various body fluids and dirt. “Sh*t’d I get like this??…Did I get in a fight? …..Damn.” I said God must have definitely been with him to crawl out of that kid’s dad’s car unnoticed by dad. Then to have to good fortune to have the kids parents walk right by him unconscious in their car to go shopping and leave the kid home alone. He was blessed that the kid answered the door, cuz only a KID would have let his dirty bloody ass in to use the phone after learning that he had just gotten out of her dad’s car. An adult would have either beat your *ss, or called the cops. No, the kid lets you in to use the phone. “Damn…” he says” I really don’t hope my wife doesn’t kill me. Can I use your phone to call her? What am I gonna say to her??” I told him the best advice I could give him was that for the next 5-10 years, WHATEVER she says about this incident just say “Yes, dear…”

One Friday night at one of the local nightclubs, a rather smallish white guy stumbled out of the doors to the club, and passed out in front of the club on the railroad ties that were placed in front to control the traffic flow. Soon after, two really large black women , also drunk, exited the club to go to their car. They spied the little white guy passed out on the railroad ties. They both looked at one another and smiled. The larger of the two grinned like a hungry wolf, and said “girrrl…we gonna have us a white boy tonight!!” They then proceed to stagger over to the still unconscious man. They each grabbed a foot and proceed to try to pull him to their car in the parking lot. When that didn’t work, one of the women went to get the car to drive closer , making it easier to get their prize into the vehicle.  She pulled up next to her friend and the unsuspecting and still unconscious drunk. They proceeded to roll him towards the car. After two rolls, they were huffing and puffing and sweating. These were some real big women. 5’10” 450lbs. They were both in stiletto heels .The effort of trying to manipulate dead drunk weight in heels was too much for them. They gave up and left the dude still unconscious in front of the taxi que lane. All the taxi drivers were roaring with laughter at this sight.

Shortly after the two women abandoned him,  the guy regained consciousness and staggered into my cab. He was asking me how he managed to get into the taxi que lane, flat on his back with dirt all over him. I said “Dude, you were almost a big girl sammich tonight.” I proceeded to tell him the events that took place while he was passed out.  The look of horror on his face told me that for at least a couple of days, he might not get THAT drunk again.

There are some fares that you pick up and you think “huh, wonder what HIS story is…” This was one of those fares.
I pulled up to the hotel for a fare to the airport. Out comes this very young looking guy and a woman who I initially thought might be his mother. He had no luggage and looked a little stressed. I confirmed that he was going to the airport, and started to drive. His cell phone rang and I overheard this : 
What’s up??..yeah…I’m in St. Louis…well… I was gonna get married…I don’t know dude I was DRUNK…it sounded like a good idea…me and Kelly and Tyler were drinkin’ and they said let’s drive to St. Louis and get married and I said F*CK yeah, I’ll do it I called this girl and we met at the hotel and when I sobered up I spent like an hour in the bathroom cuz I thought SHIT what have I done??? Is she gonna let me outa this….yeah…I called my mom and told her what happened …I was hopin’ she was gonna tell me to just come on home….yeah she got a plane ticket for me and I gave the girl money for the room and for gas to get back home. SSSHIIIIT!! I ain’t NEVER drinkin’ like that again!!!

He had just turned 21 and this happened on his birthday. The girl I thought was his mom was the bride to be.