There are some fares that you pick up and you think “huh, wonder what HIS story is…” This was one of those fares.
I pulled up to the hotel for a fare to the airport. Out comes this very young looking guy and a woman who I initially thought might be his mother. He had no luggage and looked a little stressed. I confirmed that he was going to the airport, and started to drive. His cell phone rang and I overheard this : 
What’s up??..yeah…I’m in St. Louis…well… I was gonna get married…I don’t know dude I was DRUNK…it sounded like a good idea…me and Kelly and Tyler were drinkin’ and they said let’s drive to St. Louis and get married and I said F*CK yeah, I’ll do it I called this girl and we met at the hotel and when I sobered up I spent like an hour in the bathroom cuz I thought SHIT what have I done??? Is she gonna let me outa this….yeah…I called my mom and told her what happened …I was hopin’ she was gonna tell me to just come on home….yeah she got a plane ticket for me and I gave the girl money for the room and for gas to get back home. SSSHIIIIT!! I ain’t NEVER drinkin’ like that again!!!

He had just turned 21 and this happened on his birthday. The girl I thought was his mom was the bride to be.

picked up lady…took her to the hospital. She was bleeding and  had ice on her head. It seems she and the hubby were having a “night of fun”. He is a LARGE man. She oiled his belly up with baby oil and climbed on top of him. She was getting into it, and slipped off his belly…..hit her head on the dresser and had to call a cab because after 2 bottles of vino he was unable to drive her to the hospital. she said at least it was worth it.

That Neighborly Lady

Posted: January 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Two guys I picked up from a local bar were discussing the neighbor lady that one guy thought was hot. His friend replied that one night she was so blind drunk, she wandered into his house totally naked, when he and his wife were watching the evening news. He told his friend “man… you know me and the ol’ lady got problems and THAT sure as hell didn’t help. Like I ASKED for her to walk into my house NAKED!!! Hell, she didn’t even know WHERE she was. I’m still hearin’ about that from the ol’ lady. Like I f*ckin’ PLANNED it.”

Go to house to pick up fare- this guy comes out to the cab in a body cast. I open the slider on the van he sortof “falls ” into the rear seat. Tells me to take him to his doctors office. I ask him “what the hell happened to you?” I couldn’t resist, I just had to ask. He says “I was riding my bike (motorcycle) on the River Road coming from Grafton, the last thing I remember is a deer falling out of the sky and landing on me.” He went on to say that he later found out that a 135 lb. doe had apparently been running from something up on the bluffs, and ran off the bluff to get away, plummeting 75 feet down to the highway and landing on him. The only thing that kept him from dying was that the deer took the brunt of the damage because it was tangled between him and the road. He said “I was pissed because I didn’t even get to eat any of it…..still pisses me off to think about it….”

$112.00 cab ride….

Posted: January 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
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‎2 guys go out to a bar looking for some action. They hook up with 2 girls from out of town, who are “sure things”. They get in the girls’ car to ride back to the girls’ house 1 hour away. When they get there they stop at a bar for a couple of drinks before they go on to the house. The girls go on a bathroom break. While they’re gone Friend 1 decides to mess with Friend 2 and tell him the girls are really undercover spies for the feds, so he better be careful…Friend 2 gets spooked , and when the girls come back from the bathroom, he starts to act paranoid and weird to the point the girls get pissed off and leave. stranding them 60 miles away from their car. One $112.00 cab ride later, they are home. Moral: if you are gonna mess with you’re friend make sure that 1. he’s not a borderline psycho after a few beers and 2. that you stay close to home so the cab ride won’t be that expensive should there be an unfortunate outcome. 🙂 Friend 1 saved the receipt from the cab ride and whenever Friend 2 starts acting too superior friend 1 pulls out the taxi receipt and says “$112.00 dollar cab ride-you dumb f*ck! a $112.00 dollar cab ride…..”


Posted: January 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
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I am a taxicab driver and owner in the St. Louis Metro area. The “tales” that are in this blog are true. The specific names and identities of people in these stories are not given. Because taxi drivers never name names. We’re like the mob…we don’t say nothin’.

So, if you THINK you see yourself in a story, just remember, there are a LOT of drunk crazy people out there, so it might be you or it might not be. It might be some other drunk crazy person. Just enjoy the stories and laugh at the foolish behavior that makes life fun.

I have also included stories about various oddball drivers and one cranky supervisor. Because the drivers are just as crazy as their customers.