Caution! Get too Drunk and you might wind up a Big Girl Sammich

Posted: January 10, 2012 in Uncategorized
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One Friday night at one of the local nightclubs, a rather smallish white guy stumbled out of the doors to the club, and passed out in front of the club on the railroad ties that were placed in front to control the traffic flow. Soon after, two really large black women , also drunk, exited the club to go to their car. They spied the little white guy passed out on the railroad ties. They both looked at one another and smiled. The larger of the two grinned like a hungry wolf, and said “girrrl…we gonna have us a white boy tonight!!” They then proceed to stagger over to the still unconscious man. They each grabbed a foot and proceed to try to pull him to their car in the parking lot. When that didn’t work, one of the women went to get the car to drive closer , making it easier to get their prize into the vehicle.  She pulled up next to her friend and the unsuspecting and still unconscious drunk. They proceeded to roll him towards the car. After two rolls, they were huffing and puffing and sweating. These were some real big women. 5’10” 450lbs. They were both in stiletto heels .The effort of trying to manipulate dead drunk weight in heels was too much for them. They gave up and left the dude still unconscious in front of the taxi que lane. All the taxi drivers were roaring with laughter at this sight.

Shortly after the two women abandoned him,  the guy regained consciousness and staggered into my cab. He was asking me how he managed to get into the taxi que lane, flat on his back with dirt all over him. I said “Dude, you were almost a big girl sammich tonight.” I proceeded to tell him the events that took place while he was passed out.  The look of horror on his face told me that for at least a couple of days, he might not get THAT drunk again.

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